How do you normally approach the holidays? Do prepare yourself to grin and bear all the things you think you're supposed to do? Do you go to places you'd rather not, or stay longer than you enjoy, because someone in your family has decided it's required? If you'd like to enjoy the holidays more, next time play a game of Nurture You Monopoly. The rules are: whatever arrangements your family has made, pre-plan a time and place to do something you really enjoy. Would that be a massage, pedicure, coffee with friends, a walk up the mountains or along the beach? Or something else? Then devise an exit. Ask a friend to call you with an excuse. Pre-arrange a taxi to come and pick you up. When the phone call or taxi arrives, say: “Thank you so much for today! I just have to pop out now to help my friend. I'll be back to enjoy it even more a bit later!” Then smile, LEAVE and nurture you.
*** This is one of My Favourite Holiday Game Qs, which I will re-publish whenever we're approaching the holidays. What if even just remembering this ONE Q helped you create the festive season you'd truly enjoy?
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Are you about to enter a holiday season? How much stress do you normally experience when you spend time with your family or in-laws? Have you got relatives who give you a hard time? Maybe you married the favourite cousin and you're “not good enough”? Or do you have the plain mean ones who know you're an easy mark? If you dread family gatherings because you know someone is out to get you, trying to control you, or just not fun to hang out with, try these games and create a difference. Are your get togethers full of fighting? How many fights are really just individuals crying out for more attention? So give the ones giving you the hardest time, the attention they seek. With gentleness and allowance say “I'm so grateful that you are in my life. You are such a gift.” Then ask them questions and listen. No one will have paid them so much genuine attention in a long time. Being totally open, vulnerable and present with them will knock them over like a house of cards.
*** This is one of My Favourite Holiday Game Qs, which I will re-publish whenever we're approaching the holidays. What if even just remembering this ONE Q helped you create the festive season you'd truly enjoy? Do all sorts of magical creatures find you during the holidays, especially when you're offering cake and beer? Who are they in your circles? You know the ones, the Snakes who always bite you when you least expect it, because it's instinct? Or the Bring Downers, who simply get a kick out of making your life hell and bringing you down? Does it always shock, horrify, disappoint or upset you when they do it, again and again? What if you gave up expecting everyone to be nice like you, and instead played this game? First, recognise who the Snakes and Bring Downers are in your life. Then you can choose to stay out of their way. And, when they do enter your life, see them and acknowledge them for being great at what they do. How? When they start with the biting and the bringing down – without heat – say “Wow, you're really good at doing that!” When they ask “What's that?” reply “Whatever you're doing now. What is that?” Then listen with “interesting point of view” energy, or walk away.
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